Sir Kalen

I know you guys haven't heard much from her... but she is doing wonderful. Last thursday i went down to the department of transportation, and obtained a license plate for. Yess!!!! Og is now legal, and can be driven on the road with pride. And I have done so!

However... There are still some bugs and fine tuning to be done to her. For example...

Last night I was coming home, waiting to cross a 4 lane intersection. Fortunately there are stop lights. So i do not have to brave the oncoming traffic in a rather slow bug... Unfortunately, as I'm sitting there idling... I hear a sudden change in the tune of my engine... Its running lean.. Something has plugged up my carb!! quickly thinking, I pull up the emergancy brake, and begin to feather the throttle heavily. hoping that the burly guy in the truck next to me, will not mistake my engine revving is a sign of me wanting to drag race. I keep feathering the gas, but she doesn't want to comply, she's filing for divorce!

and gets it. I stall and cannot start the engine, in 5 o'clock traffic, a line of cars behind me!! I coast down the small embankment and attempt to revive her, but to no evail, she just doesn't want to. meanwhile, horns are blowing and people are Driving around me, I cannot just exit the car, prop the rear hood and inspect the engine. (believe it or not, i've had to do that before on the side of the road.)

Feeling immensly embarrassed, but refusing to show it, and putting on an act like everything is normal. that it isn't extremely bizarre for my car to stop working in the middle of traffic... I wait for the light to turn green. There is only 1 thing left to do...

The light is green, and I begin to push my beloved and cantakerous Og across the intersection!! like a funeral procession, the people slowly follow behind me in their cars. Remember, this is 4 lanes of traffic!!

now, across the intersection, in a deserted gas station... A dear black gentleman is selling some "greens" Bless the dear man, but he comes running across the intersection and helps me push my car across the intersection and into the deserted Gas station.

He then proceeds to tell me that he once had a Vw bug waaaaaaay back in his youth. (believe me it was way back) that it was probally my valves that was the problem, that I should get home and adjust my valves. Lord bless him, If I could only get home! I've not yet compiled a toolbox to carry with me, of the most common and needed tools to carry in a VW. But believe me, I am working on that! meanwhile, the dear helpful man keeps rattling on about his youth, and how its the valves... I keep nodding and aggreeing. Being the respectful young man that I am. Honor the elder's experience. All the while thinking... "I know its not the valves, I just adjusted them last night!!!"

So I prop the lid... fiddle with the carb... check my coil... Yup, carb's delivering fuel... YOowCH! the coil has electricty... I should be good to go. So I get back into the car, and begin to crank it ovoer, feathering the gas. slowly, the rpms catch on, and I realize she will start. she coughs, sputters, and like behemoth awakening, she backfires and roars to life. I keep the throttle down tuning to 5000rpm, to create a huge vaccuum and suck whatever dirt is in my carb out. It works. Another backfire and she is purring like her old sweet self.

I make it home, install a 2nd fuel filter, say nice sweet things to her, and retire for the day...

Moral of the story? always carry a charged up cell phone!

The quirks of Kalen:

Because it is something men oft do at my age, I recently have contemplated marriage. The future, what, could it hold, what will it have, and what will it send? No, I’m not contemplating getting married, nor is there anyone on the horizon which I would or could marry... So it looks like I will be a bachelor... But for my amusement, and any others who would appreciate it... here are the quirks which ride along with me, should I enter marriage.

Kalen:

Is oft subject to random romantic mood swings...

Frequently makes up his own words...

Uses words no one else has bothered to use in the past 200yrs

Often smells of old or new motor oil, gasoline, welding fumes, solvents, and everything that has potential to make you High

Does not purposefully use those to get High, but those scents come along with his hobby

hobby is Cars, specifically Old Volkswagens

Loves Old VW’s

Will probably only drive Old Vw’s

Will contemplate being nice to his wife, and Buy her a modern car.

Will only drive and own manual cars

Refuses to be sappy....

But secretly has a soft spot for the sappy, provided it is contained, private, and for the wife only.

Loves to write...

Can play piano

Can do construction

Can work mechanics

Is a pyromaniac... Hard core!

Is not artistic, cannot draw or paint to save his soul

is a visual learner

Will refuse to live in the city...

A avid computer gamer

is 6' 2" and 160lbs soaking wet

describes himself as wiry, sinewy, strong, but not muscular, dark brown soulful eyes, tanned, is currently sporting something resembling a moustache...

Would want as many kids as possible

Has an obnoxious, weird, amazing, lovable, crazy, special, one-of-a-kind, unique, friendly, fun-loving, caring, strong, huge, extended, adventure seeking, renaissance, loud, boisterous, excitable, hard working, ice-cream loving, and simply the best family in the world.

Definitely has more quirks than this, but they haven’t all introduced themselves to him. As he is made aware of them he shall add them to his list...

For humors sake, will appreciate outside input as to which quirks he is blind to :)

Yup, its confirmed. The world is going down the tubs, circling the drain, kicking the bucket, turning up the daisies.

have a nice day?

I hate it when I have too much time, and spend it reading various newsgroups and sites via this herald called "Internet"

To You, My friend:

We will start, that the intentions are understandable, comprehendable, and rational. We will not disclose if they are comendable. I reserve that stance for my personal ego fest. Your Intentions I accept; your methodolgy I question.

It could be a case of ignorance. The probality of that is high. Yet is it my duty, in these extenuating circumstances, to rememedy that knowledge? To enlighten you of the stakes? I have never felt that, nor has anybody made me aware of the possibility of it. The spectrums from which we approach are stunningly vast in their differences. Yet that is no mote at which to pick at. That fact merely inspires me to muse. Opposites attract? Possibly. Possibly that the rationale is blinded? Possibly that my stance should be more reactive instead of apethetic? Possibly.

But I have no perception, no insight, no model, no mental image from which to base any deductions. No experience. My mind is not a blank dark room, But a blinding white room. the Dark heightens the other sense. But this white light of ignorance dulls everything. and I loathe it, with a lurid passion. The mind has failed us, so we are apethetic, and in such a time as this, I have chosen the worst stance.

FEMALE HORMONES FOUND IN BEER

Scientists for Health UK suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (as hops contain phytoeostrogens) and drinking it may turn men into women. To test the theory, 100 men were given 6 pints of beer each to drink within a one hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, refused to apologize when obviously wrong, and had to sit down while urinating. No further testing was considered necessary.

Twas a normal ride from work to home today. The usual route, the usual modern, mediocre, and mundane scenery. Until I neared the local Library, and who should I espy? Why our local Hans! Desiring to cross 2 lanes of 5 o'clock traffic. I could not be mistaken. same hairstyle, glasses, harried manner, and rapid glances from left to right, no doubt it was our hans! Driving quite the studious Toyota 4 runner, I felt quite outclassed as I chugged up in my 1988 dodge pickup. but alas, no one had noticed this celebrity, and internet herald, So I did the proper thing, and blocked her exit. Saving her from the dire perils of Highway 27 at rush hour, with its myrid of crazy college students, slow grandmas, and loud logging trucks. Supplying endless opportunities for the college student to weave between the slow moving 2. Unfortunately, some niave driver behind me let her through... I recollect it was some College student in a rambled honda. No doubt he was stricken by the appearance of our local beauty and let her pass. In vain hopes that he would get in exchange a closer look, and a smile from the fair lady. Proper compensation for modern day gentleman, laying his jacket down for the lady to cross. no doubt he needs his perscription glasses checked out.

However!

bah... hannah again. Devoid of all decency. To visit Florida and never tell me... I'm shocked. At least I gave due warning when passing through your neck of the woods. I would expect a lady of you upbringing to be more civil!

I await your explanation!

oh look! more hurricanes!

*sigh* life gives me opportunities that mandate my presence be elswere... I had strict blogging rules, so that I would not blend in with the norm of the blogging world, thus losing any influence I believed I had. But something dreadful has happened. And here I am writing of my sad blight in this world. Spinning a sad tale, bemoaning the unfair cut life has dealt me... Leading this crusade is the amount of e-mails in my inbox.


I bemoan not the numerical status, be it empty or full. I regret the position that they stand in, the unanswered quota. it inflicts guilt upon my procrastinating soul. Actually, from introspection, my inbox is flooded! Demanding answers, so that my mind overloads and shutsdown. E-mails about Volkswagens, turbos, engine blocks, a finicky seller in the midwest, friends near and far, updates from blogs, message boards, etc etc. I'm swamped! fortuosity has it that I retain this last shred of creativity, to forge a solution. Tis simple. You think you are neglet in replying, you shall soon see you posse amazing literary skills and blistering turn-around times. E-mail me! Send my anything (within reason of course) It shall remain in my inbox, enjoying its unanswered status, You shall feel vindicated, and I will be assuaged in knowing my laziness is helping another human enjoy his/her own laziness... Capitol wot wot?


don't ask me... I've still to fathom the improbability of it, and how the mind can produce such... (insert adjective here), from running on fumes, coffee and sleep deprivation... But to move on


Last month I received a summons in the mail box, notifiying me that I was the lucky winner of jury duty. I was Rather surprised, for I am only 19, and Uncle sam wants me for his jury? already? COME ON PEOPLE! I just got over being 18! now this! this is not helping me face the realization that my youth is rapidly vanishing... But My sisters and my father had been discharged before, so with the maxim History repeats itself... in mind, I reported in to the courthouse this morning at 8am sharp! (actually 7:43am to be precise) but alas! TRAGEDY, I've been selected to serve! Obnoxious! Outrageous! Now i don't mean it to sound that bad... I consider it an honor to serve for the justice system, and 2nd to serving in the military, its is my opinion that this is the best way to serve your country, and show your patriotism. But to accept a skinny tall 19yo who works construction, writes horribly, and fixes up a volkswagen in his spare time and money, (which of both there is little of), for this honor? To say I'm flabbergasted is an understatement... a GROSS understatement... Details to follow for when the case done, and the verdict announced...


it is rather disconcerting to know you could pronounce someone guilty


Kalen