Crystal

I should really post around here if I have my own category, and a questionably named one at that. Thanks. Yeah.

Frankly, I come here occasionally, imbibe all of your brilliance, and feel completely incapable of posting anything that anyone would ever want to read, and therefore refrain from polluting the general aura of snappy and relevant wit that clearly confirms that once again, yes indeed, everyone else does have a better handle on the world than do I. I want to be everyone else.

Ach.

Well, I'm going back to school on Saturday. Among other Englishy classes, I'm taking Ethics, my self-imposed bit of educational bliss, and Probability & Statistics, my self-imposed chunk of demonic torture. It is my senior year and I have no earthly idea what I'm doing after graduation besides entertaining vague and wistful thoughts of grad school and a professorial position at a small college in a pretty town with nice sunsets and lots of trees. I'm all about simplicity at this point.

I'm procrastinating miserably on my summer class, Principles of Management (a textbook that defines terms like "problem" and "opportunity" in bold print, anyone?) and I feel rather like a delinquent. It's kind of nice for a change.

There must be something about you people; I keep coming back here. ;-) Thanks.

If there were anything I've never tried but suspect that I could really get into, it would be photography.


This morning absolutely sparkled. If it hadn't been for the cold, I would have just wanted to skip Spanish, sit on the back step of the brick art and education building, and watch the sunbeams bounce off the tree branches. The combination of frigid blue sky, pristinely white snow, and icy sunlight made the morning seem new...newer than most mornings. A lot of mornings are recycled. This one wasn't.


But what really made me think about getting into photography was something I saw at the Rec Center, of all places, on Monday. I threw my coat into one of the tiny white cubicles by the exercise room and was about to go in when one of the other storage spaces caught my eye. On the left of it was a neatly rolled, deep olive green corduroy jacket, and on the right sat a brick-red and black backpack with its main pocket half-unzipped. Blooming out of the backpack was a perfect, single red rose. The petal ridges were just beginning to brown. If I had had a decent camera with me at that very moment, I would have taken a picture of that coat, backpack, and solitary vintage rose and simply titled it, "Valentine's Day."


It was beautiful, because as I was staring at it like an artistic fool, I thought, "Now that is what I call Valentine's Day." Not a frilly, cheap-chocolate, pink-frosted-sugar-cookie Valentine's Day, but a real holiday worth celebrating. Not a chintzy greeting card and a box of Necco sweethearts--just one red rose popping up in the least expected of places, wedged in between the realities of the cold weather and ever-present homework, brightening life.


I could deal with Valentine's Day if it was more like that.

It's gotta be nearing on a year since I've posted, but I don't really care to take the time to delve into the archives to verify that. At any rate, I've kinda missed hanging around you guys, since I don't see communication from you anywhere else. I've had a cursory presence on the revamped RI boards; the new server and clean slate sparked a bout of fresh posts, but alas, the RI is still not what it was. It's been taken over by a new generation.


I am...living. Oh yes, I am living. I have lived much since I was around here, and transcribing all of the lessons I've learned and concepts I've pondered would take a near-eternity. Currently, however, I am up to my neck in semester's end homework. I'm working on a 10-page paper on Hawthorne that is 40% of my class grade and expected to be of literary journal quality. I really enjoy the scholarly toil, but it takes a ridiculous amount of sheer time. I've also benefited immensely from my Philosophy & Christian Thought class this semester. Finally, concepts that I was first introduced to in the freshman introduction class are meshing themselves into something of a cohesive whole. And, of course, the first semester of my junior year is nearly over, and seniority is staring me in the face. Panic. My after-college plans are still in the works, but when it comes right down to it (and it takes a long time to "come right down to it," believe me), I know I'll be directed when the time arrives. My life has been thoroughly unplanned up to this point and it's been wonderful--no need to mess up my track record now. ;-)


I should get back to my research, but I'll try to stick a little closer from now on, and post occasionally. Have a great weekend.

-- This was originally a blog post, but I thought it might create a bit of discussion here as well. --


Is honesty overrated? It is considered one of, if not the the highest, of virtues, yet it seems to me that people can get away with a lot in the name of honesty. Opinions that would be best left unsaid are justified because, "Well, I'm being honest." For what is honesty but the truthful statement of one's biases? Honesty does not equal truth. A colorblind person can come up to me on a beautiful, sunny day and say, "Crystal, the sky is pink." The sky is not pink. That person is being entirely honest with his or her opinion, but the opinion is not correct. Honesty does not imply accuracy. Just as withholding one's thoughts is appropriate in some circumstances, so is speaking out. But the validity of an idea does not depend on whether or not it is spoken. It seems rather postmodern to say that it does, as if it follows that the airing of a thought means that it is correct and should be heeded. Or by the same token, that by reserving an opinion it means that it is somehow superior to those openly shared. A friend once told me (after I expressed that it is good that at least some people think about things, whether or not their ideas are accurate) that it is not deliberation that qualifies an idea. Truth is a higher standard, beyond human reason or opinion. It is a very wise observation, and one I will not soon forget. These days we place emphasis on speaking out honestly; on thinking logically through our opinions, and then sharing them; on making our voice heard. But have we gone too far? Just because a thought is spoken does not make it right. We should be concerned not only with the publicity or the sheer honesty of our thoughts, but with the ultimate truth of them. In the absence of the search for truth, not just honesty, we flounder alone, walking through life judging solely by our prejudices.

It's Martha's world. We just blog in it.




(I couldn't resist. Or would it be, "It's Martha's blog. We just live in it,"?

"At Grace, profs can function as mentors as well as teachers. There are several that I have the utmost respect for, and I believe they've impacted me in ways that will (positively) affect me the rest of my life. Christians in academics are powerful forces and incredible influences. It's sad that most secular institutions are much larger than private, Christian ones, and as a result, the personal contact between student and professor is severely limited. It makes me wonder where exactly my calling is. I want to be an informed, educated Christian who can adequately articulate her faith to unbelievers in academic settings, yet I want to be in a place in which I can impact students spiritually as well as mentally. I want to be to someone what some of my profs have been to me. I realize that I can do this whether I'm on a secular or Christian campus, but the question is which one will better facilitate my desire to serve in this way."


Do any of you have similar ambitions? Any thoughts welcome.

My good friend (and fellow English major) Sarah led one of the several Student Seminars that took the place of chapel today. The title of her seminar was "Irreverent Adoration?," subtitle: "Speak now or forever hold your pieces," (referring to being left holding the pieces of some shattered event that you're questioning God about). I had been talking to her about her topic ever since her application to lead the seminar was accepted, and she raised some great questions. Is it okay to question God? Is anger with God allowed? Doesn't God have to make sense? Is God random? If God is random, is God trustworthy? Do we really need all the answers? Have you ever really grappled with God? Although there are no hard and fast answers to these questions, she also did a great job with her list of tentative conclusions. Although our purpose here is to bless God (and she made the point that to bless means to speak well of something/someone), questioning is okay. If you're mad at something, at least you're thinking about it. There's a concept in one of Yancey's books about "throwing the Bible across the room"--is this wrong? Not really, because at least you're having some kind of response to it. We read the story of Jacob wrestling with the angel--he was, in essence, wrestling with God literally, yet God still blessed him afterward. In addition, I think one of the strongest points Sarah made was that we greatly underestimate the struggle or process that one must go through to get to the point where one can pray (like Job), "Though he slay me, yet will I trust Him." Sarah has a great mind; she thinks about the deeper things like this, like I do, and desires to engage others in discussion about them. We both get frustrated with the surface Christianity that abounds in the mainstream religious culture and on Christian campuses like this one. We dare to ask questions that many churches would shun, and entertain ideas that would be considered nearly sacrilegious to those who tout the "God said it. I believe it. That settles it." mantra. I think that whatever I do in life, I want to stay connected to teenagers and college students and either help them struggle with these questions, or, more probably, get them to start asking them. Blame it on Freshman Seminar and Christianity & Critical Thinking; I love discussing these things.


What do you all think? Are these questions appropriate for Christians to ask? Have you demanded answers to these things? Have you grappled with God? Do you think a lot of Christians ignore this aspect of God's nature--that He's not only loving and kind, but also frustrating and box-breaking?

Ooo, shiny.